


UST

by Anonymous



Category: Devil May Cry
Genre: Being Dante is Suffering(TM), Canon-Typical Violence, Dante is Done(TM), Gratuitous Violence, Humor, Incest, M/M, Nero doesn't know anything about sex, Nero is confusion, Nero's demon pheromones are in capslock mode at all times, Sexually repressive Fortuna, UST, Vergil schemes, modesty kink, nero is oblivious, over the top seduction, this is a bit of a group chat fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2020-03-29 14:18:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19021651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Or that time Vergil and Nero were idiots in lust and Dante realized the benefits of modern technology. (feat. Lady and Trish in the peanut gallery)





	UST

**Author's Note:**

  * For [NewLakituPls](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NewLakituPls/gifts), [Lady_Lavender](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Lavender/gifts).



> Dedicated to Lavender and Bananasaur. You made me do this. This is the monster we created. 
> 
> This fic is 80% humor of Dante & Co being done or horrified and 20% heavy UST by some idiots in lust with each other.

It starts with a spar. Or at least, that's when Dante _notices_ it. It's not like he kept tally of Verge's spars with Nero after the third or fourth time when he confirmed Verge wasn't about to commit filicide. He knew very well that he was a third wheel in father-son bonding time and the kid needed the space without being star struck by awesome Legendary hunter.

(Also, the fact that maybe Verge would feel threatened by Nero's favoritism might be counterproductive. But that's just a hunch, it's not like he's been skewered by Yamato's spectral blades during breakfast after Nero served him freshly made strawberry pancakes or anything. No sire.)

The thing is, that Dante didn't pass enough time on Father-son bonding. So he doesn't know if this is a recent development or if this has gone for a while. This being Nero's scent-thing. Not that he blames the kid. In all honesty, going through demon maturity at an age when he's already a human adult and having no teacher whatsoever can cause a bit of an incontinency problem.

The issue is not that Nero's scent overshares. It what he _does_.

So there's Dante, going all fine and dandy thinking that maybe a three-way spar can shuffle things up and be fun. He's midflight when he finds them, broken buildings and scent of blood are easy to find. The spar is at the tail end, with Nero barely escaping a judgement cut end only for Verge to slam him away with Yamato’s sheath after a quick trickster.

Dante winces at the sound of the strike. Verge wasn't holding back much, and Dante knows from experience that sheath can be a bitch. That seems to be it.

Nero halts his slide by slamming Red Queen into the ground, one hand around his middle. He's breathing hard, sweat running down his face, but seems alright. Just not ready for another dance.

Vergil, the showy bastard, sheathes Yamato with more flourish than what's strictly necessary. Dante barely starts formulating in his head what gives with it when he's bombarded by a Loud and Clear over the top message of _TOP ME!_

Dante freezes.

Verge freezes.

Nero, oblivious to what his scent just enthusiastically broadcasted, just cleans the sweat from his face, gets Red Queen on his back with a move that might be a bit more archy and coy that what's needed and tells Vergil "I'm gonna win next time."

Verge narrows his eyes. Good. Lips twitch into a soft smile. Uh? and says "Only if you try harder" accompanied by a scent that's decidedly _considering_.

Oh no.

Dante can see it a mile away. He's never going to be paid enough for this shit.

 

* * *

 

Good thing is, Dante is not the only one who noticed. In fact, he’s the last. Well, there’s Nero too, but he doesn’t count –and that’s the entire problem. He wants to point out that this is all Vergil’s fault, because he’s sure it is. He doesn’t have any proof, but no doubts either.

Especially when he realizes his brother _knows_ and is doing nothing to stop the kid from oversharing. One would think having a girlfriend would already keep him satisfied and sated, but apparently Nero’s hormones are a two-kind buffet and he’s missing some meat. Not that Dante is surprised by the proclivities, the kid _did_ attack him in all deadly spread-eagle glory during their first meeting.  

It begs the question of why Vergil, but as far as Dante knows the kid didn’t have enough male figures in his life. If Credo was alive, Nero’s problems would be solved by that sibling tag-team. But now there’s only Dante and Verge... and Dante _did_ make himself unavailable to the kid.

Now that he thinks about it with this new context, he can see why Nero’s demon instincts fixated on Vergil. His brother had tried to approach Nero after they came back from hell. Just not in precise human terms –not that he’d blamed Verge. His big brother barely knew how to function is human society when they were 19. It was a lost cause to demand him do it now.

Moreover, it had been hilarious to see all of his awkward attempts at trying to scent mark Nero as family. A clumsy pat on the head, a spar that was more Vergil trying to throw his blood on Nero’s clothes than anything really deadly, some clothes and bath products as presents… he’d even stood close to Nero like a creep, trying to make his son accustomed to his scent. It had been hilarious.

Especially when Nero, the poor oblivious kid, thought Vergil wanted a hug and just gave it to him freely.

(Actually, that might have been the start of it all. He should have put a stop on that from the get go instead of rolling his eyes at his brother’s painfully awkward attempts to put his scent on the kid. Or dying from laughter when brother stiffened and tried to pat his son in an attempt to return the hug.)

The thing is, in retrospect? Everything was obvious, right under his nose and he didn’t notice a bit. The good thing is, he’s the last to notice and that means other people had to witness and suffer it before. Case in point, Lady and Trish.

Nero is currently buying groceries after bitching that DMC’s pantry wasn’t properly filled –as if this office is _his_ and not Dante’s. Though given how certain objects in it are permeated with Nero’s scent of Horny and Dante hadn’t washed them, maybe the kid’s behavior has a point.

Still, he took the opening and let the kid storm away. Vergil is doing whatever business he does when he’s not in Dante’s nose. Only Trish and Lady are in the office, bitching about something that Dante finally follows an dit means they can have a _meeting_.

“Ok ladies,” he interrupts their riveting gossip about how the little bird is sad, _and only of them has feather in demon form, Dante should have known_. “Stop gossiping, it’ll be a blow to the kid’s confidence”

So maybe he’s trying to play it cool and throw off the suspicion that he’s the last one to know, but he will accept no criticisms. Thank you.

Not that it is a successful attempt anyway. Trish smirks, throwing a look of pity and mirth, and no matter how many years pass, Dante is still a bit weird out about Trish doing something that looks both mother and un-mother like. “You finally got in with the program?” she teases, procuring some cash from her cleavage throwing it at Lady without looking. “You costed me twenty bucks” she informs him dryly.

Dante stares, looking at Lady’s pleased smile while counting the money and sighs with a hand on his chest in mock anguish “You made a bet on _against me_? What? Did you expect me to never find out?”

Trish rolls her eyes and grabs another piece of pizza.  

“She bet you wouldn’t even notice until you saw them going at it in the living room,” Lady explains pleased, tucking the exchange in her wallet. “Gotta say, it was a good prediction, but I know you have the worst luck. Finding them in the middle of it wouldn’t give you enough suffering.”

Dante whistles. “You play dangerous games”

“I got the money,” she shrugs entirely unconcerned. “and you’ll come to appreciate commenting about Nero’s stupid crush. He’s pinning like a dumb teenager,” Lady chuckles with something close to fondness and it makes Dante’s hair stand on end. A fond Lady is as dangerous as a pissed off Lady.   

“He has a girlfriend and he’s not a two-timer,” Dante points out, mostly to try and make sense on what is going on. One thing is dumb demon lust, another entirely is crushing –and if Lady tells it like that, then so must be it. Ever since Arkham, she’s gotten way better at reading people and motivations. Nero and Kyrie are going strong, and he’s a good decent kid. He’s not a future cheater or something.

“He doesn’t like girls,” Trish explains as a matter of fact, licking her fingers clean and Dante wants to argue that they all saw Nero kiss the girl. But Dante also knows better than interrupt when she’s in a roll. “You should have seen him. He was a little deer when I met him as Gloria. Didn’t know where to look.”

“But if so, why Verge?” he asks on principle. Because the kid knew him first, and he was in his dashing prime. Not that he isn’t now and can’t get some with some sultry moves. But He had a better presence back then, if Nero’s first instinct was to attack him with open legs. Just because he made himself unavailable doesn’t mean he was worth giving up. Demon nature is that of a pursuer and a challenge increases the interest of a hunt.

“He has a better sense of hygiene,” Lady points out and Dante can’t refute that. He’s not rich like Verge (and as long as there’s no hell gate being opened Dante is not going to question the origin of all that money), nor does he have one of those overly clichés and pricy penthouse with all the strange cleaning and self-care amenities one can find on the high end of Harrods.

Not that it should matter much. Vergil also has chest hair just like him. And he sweats. So there.

But maybe Nero likes the crisp clean smell and the scent of expensive after shave. There is some mystique in the smell of wealth and luxury products, and for a modest kid that might mean something. Or maybe he just has daddy issues and doesn’t know his demon behavior has found a way to broadcast its preferred problem resolution. 

Yeah, it’s probably the latter.

“So what? If I clean and shave will Nero be changing crushes?” he pokes at the idea. Though the image is not appealing in the slightest. Having Nero’s loud demon interest on him is bad enough… but who knows how Vergil will _react_.

He rather likes this shop.  

“He was never _this_ bad with you,” Trish dismisses with an exasperated huff. “You can clean after yourself without worries… and maybe the shop too.”

“You live in here as well,” Dante points out. He’s never entered Trish’s room, but the demoness lives here. They share maintenance costs, and if she doesn’t like how certain things are run, she is welcome to do the changes. It’s not like she puts the empty pizza cardboard boxes in the trash after she finishes. Or cleaned the couches after Nero’s scent left messages in surfaces.

Trish and Lady exchange a _look_ before Lady rummages for something in one of her many side pockets and throws it to him. “Here. It’s almost as indestructible as you and already comes with a plan.”

Catching it is a piece of cake. It’s rectangular, easily swallowed by his hand and cool. It’s a phone. Dante has seen them before, they are popular everywhere and people swear they are the best. Expensive too. Dante doesn’t see the appeal. Nothing is better or more stylish than a good classic GPO corded phone. “Where did you get this, and why should I take it?”

“From the future debt you’ll owe to me,” Lady explains without a bone of shame. Capitalism can be a cruel creature despite its benefits, and Lady is the prime exhibit A. “and you _will_. Trust me. I already have you set up in the chat”

Accepting deals with Lady is a tossup most of the time. If he were to be completely honest he’ll debate whether going to fight Mundus or taking her offer and be in her debt. Again. But she usually has a good sixth sense. If she says this will help, then Dante will consider it by throwing it into the depths of a drawer and forgetting about it.

It goes absolutely against his style, and it’s a bit too small for his large hands. He’s not going to use it –nor is there any need to. He’ll probably end up breaking it anyway, and Lady will just procure another and add it to his new debt.

As long as he doesn’t use it he’s safe.

The universe, of course, has other plans. It has something against the line of Sparda, and can be a bitch to him in particular. Not even a week later, Nero and Vergil are cooling down after a spar at DMC. They went inside his shop as if they owned it, sweaty, barely greeting him and made way into the living room. Dante is making mental arrangements to just buy a new couch because Nero’s faint _STEP ON ME_ scent must have seeped deep in the leather by that point.

He has to give his brother credit. If Nero’s scent is still this focused a good half-hour after their spar, it must have positive reeked in the battlefield. How he can withstand that onslaught with a neutral face is inspiring. Though maybe he feels responsible?

(On the plus side, Dante knows how it ended –though he is well aware he’s just bargaining for positives at this point.)

Nero is currently disassembling Blue Rose for maintenance and Vergil just finished cleaning Yamato. Good. Maybe now Vergil can leave and Nero will follow after and Date can find _peace_ in his shop again. And open the windows. Maybe he should invest in a fan?

Except Vergil doesn’t leave.

He stands up, alright, but he takes off his coat ( _What?!_ ) and starts doing post match stretches ( _why now?!_ ). Nero’s scent doesn’t exactly catcall, but kind of mimics a hoot sound and screams _GOOD SHIT, THAT’S SOME GOOD SHIT RIGHT THERE, SO THICK, ME LIKEY._

Dante takes out the phone with the desperation of a drowning man and fumbles a little, forgetting these types of things don’t have keyboards until he finds the chat (Named ‘UST’ which is weird, why is one Trish’s initial in the name?) and types frantically.

**[14:23] Dante:** N is checking V ass

The answers are immediate

**[14:23] Lady:** Like this?

_Lady sent a video!_

**[14:24] Trish:** Or like this?

_Trish sent a video!_

While he doesn’t know where the videos had been –one of them has the DMC’s pool table in the background but he’ll happily ignore it forever-, he recognizes Trish’s. Or at least something to clue him in. Nero is wearing that expensive woolen sweater thing Vergil gave him as birthday present / apology for taking his arm. It was of a rich violet color with a pretentious name, and very soft to the touch.

Dante knows because Nero only wore it just the one and he had to be present for the meltdown that was Nero feeling absurdly guilty on not having taken good care of washing it properly. If given opportunity to voice his opinion, it was all Verge’s fault. His brother probably has an army to dry-clean and what not each single piece of his wardrobe. It is _he_ who should have taken into account that his son had no such resources and wouldn’t know how to properly wash it.    

Oh wait. He _had_ taken Verge to the field and given him an epic beat down under the guise of a spar the week after Verge had scolded the kid about how he should just have given it to the proper dry cleaning company. Hm.

**[14:29] Dante:** No.

Dante types because the way Nero is checking it from the corner of his eyes is different than the two previous exhibits.

(and, here his stomach twists in horror at the realization, there are _previous_ exhibits!)

Vergil straightens, and Nero looks back to his gun so fast Dante can hear the neck snap. It’s that more than anything why Dante adds.

**[14:30] Dante:** that video is from two months ago

**[14:30] Trish:** I have an older one.

_Lady sent a picture!_

Lady’s picture is of Vergil reading, with Nero sleeping beside him. Head resting on his brother’s lap, the perfect picture on contentment while cocooned by his brother’s left wings. There’s a hint of a smile on Verge’s face, and the overall illumination makes them look softer, happy.

Dante had witnessed it himself. It was about half a year ago, at the end of summer. They had gotten together for the first anniversary of Redgrave, though the celebration had been more a one-week special than a fine dinner deal.

He’d found it odd but cute. A proof that they were getting along as family. He would never trust his brother enough to sleep peacefully under his wings, but he wasn’t going to berate Nero for that. Clearly the kid had found his way into Vergil’s hard to crack and hard to find affections. About time something good happened to him that wasn’t related to Fortuna –and his brother deserved happiness too even if he was a right asshole and vaguely homicidal.

(and reformed genocidal.)

Still. That explains nothing. He’s about to type it when Trish sends a message

**[14:32] Trish:** Vergil took all blankets and threw them far away from the sofa before Nero came.

Dante freezes. Studying his brother, he can see the ghost of a satisfied smirk on Verge’s face, like he’s pleased with Nero’s sonic boom of horny messages. He used to look bit like that when they were children and a plan they made was successful.

Everything falls into place with undiluted horror. Vergil’s closeness. His silly attempts to scent-mark Nero. Nero’s scent answering only to him. Vergil’s _interest_.

**[14:33] Dante:** He’s doing this on purpose.

**[14:33] Dante:** fuck

**[14:33] Lady:** You’re welcome

**[14:34] Lady:** Btw. You owe me two and half grand now Dante


End file.
